How are you doing? I hope you’re enjoying what’s left of the summer. Before I get into this, I just wanted to say that I recently hit a milestone of 500 views on this blog! Just wanted to take the chance to thank every one of you who has taken a minute or two out of your day to read my ramblings for the past seven months, it honestly means so so much to me.
Today I thought I’d write about something a bit different from what I normally write about. Last week Faye was off for a week and I wasn’t working (still currently unemployed, *cries*) so we decided we wanted to go away somewhere. Since moving house and the whole me being unemployed issue, we haven’t exactly had a lot of money, and so we decided to go away somewhere in the UK for a couple of days. Faye loves organising our trips away, so I pretty much left it to her to choose where to go. In the end she found a cheap lodge on Airbnb in Boston (near Skegness) and it turned out to be quite an entertaining little trip, so I thought I’d tell you more about it!
I’d never been to Boston before so I didn’t really know what to expect when we arrived. Turns out it’s a small, secluded town, far away from civilisation. On the drive up, I didn’t realise where exactly we were staying – it turned out to be an ex- RAF base. It was slap bang in the middle of nowhere. There was really pretty views all around us but we were nowhere near anyone or anything, so I was a bit concerned that if there was an emergency we wouldn’t be able to get anywhere quickly (thankfully nothing happened but you know what I’m like, total worrier). We reached the base, and met the owner who was there to show us around. Right outside our lodge there happened to be a massive helicopter. Apparently, it had been used in Afghanistan, and it was there just as display. You could even sit inside it if you wanted to. Just casual things about staying at an ex-RAF base you know?
The inside of the lodge was really cosy. There was a self-catered kitchen area, and a lounge which included a nice sofa and tv, so we could properly chill out there if we wanted to. Coincidentally, we’d turned up on one of the hottest days of the year, and we had air con in the lodge, so that was quite lucky. I should mention that this place also had a private hot tub for us to use which was pretty awesome!
After we’d unpacked, we had a look at the helicopter and then headed out to the nearest shop we could find. We had to drive to the shop as there wasn’t anything within walking distance. It was a bit of a pain, but what can you do? After we’d got back from food shopping, we just relaxed and watched tv for a bit, and then decided to go out for dinner. The owner had left us a booklet of recommended places to eat, so we decided to try out one of the pubs.
We reached the pub, which was again quite a fair distance away, and went inside only to be told that they’d stopped serving food. It was only 8pm! We walked around the town trying to find somewhere to eat but for some reason everything was shut? Maybe it was because it was Wednesday? I don’t know, but somehow, we’d managed to find a ghost town, as nothing was open and there weren’t any people walking around. I suppose this place wasn’t really the hot spot for young people, or for holidays! In the end we ended up travelling all the way to the other side of Boston and getting a pizza from Pizza Hut, as it was the closest place we could be sure was open! We ended the night watching Love Island and drinking wine in the hot tub, so at least the day ended on a relaxing high.
On our second day the weather was still scorching hot, so we decided to head over to Skegness and go to the beach. We did pretty much all the things you do as a kid at the seaside: ate ice cream, drank slushies, hired out a pedalo and spent all of our money in the arcades (I did win a water gun which was probably worth half of what I ended up spending at the arcade, but oh well, still a win!). We then went down to the beach and drank slushies on the sand. Before we left, we treated ourselves to fish and chips for dinner which was absolutely delicious.
When we got back to the lodge we planned to go in the hot tub. We got in our bikinis, grabbed our towels and went outside, only to discover that the weather had turned into thunder and lightning! So we hastily ran back inside and spent the rest of the evening watching tv and playing games we’d brought with us.
Our last day in Boston. We checked out of the lodge at 10am, but we weren’t quite ready to go home yet. We’d been given a welcome pack with the lodge which included some discount vouchers for certain attractions, so we decided to go and check out Lincolnshire Wildlife Park.
Now, what Faye failed to tell me when we got there, is that Lincolnshire Wildlife Park is The National Parrot Sanctuary. I am absolutely terrified of birds. I hate everything about them. If I’m walking in town and see a group of pigeons I will actively try to avoid them at all costs. This turned out to be impossible at the wildlife park. Birds. Everywhere. There were so many parrots just hanging out outside of their cages, I had to run past them with my hands over my face in case they tried to attack me!
We eventually got past all of the parrots, and were now following the route to go see the tigers. To get to the tigers we had to walk past a really pretty lake. There was no one else around, so it was really quiet and secluded. We walked up to the lake, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a goose swimming towards us. Of course, I kept my eye on it, as geese are even scarier than parrots. It swam up to the bank, and climbed out of the water. It locked its eyes on us, lifted its wings up in attack mode, and started pelting it towards us at full speed. Faye later said it was the first time she’d heard me scream in absolute terror as we ran away from the giant beast. I’m not exaggerating when I say this goose was MASSIVE. An absolute tank. The experience was honestly like a horror movie. Made me appreciate Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’ even more. Those things could take over the planet.
Thankfully we managed to lose the goose, and went back to try and find another way around to see the tigers; of course there was no other way round! We waited a while in the hope that it had gone, and then we went back to the lake. It was nowhere to be seen. We crept around the area as stealthily as we could. Turns out this lake was really bloody big, and it took ages for us to get around it. I was still extremely on edge as we turned each corner. I just had a feeling that it was lying in wait for us. Eventually we turned the final corner, and there the fucker was. It was us versus it. It spread its wings out again and started running after us. I screamed and we started running again. Faye was a few metres behind me, realised she wasn’t going to outrun this evil goose, and started screaming at it to fuck off while flapping her arms out to try and intimidate it. For some reason that made it stop, and just slowly walk past her like nothing had happened. Then its eyes locked onto me. I started running again, the goose was running after me, Faye was running after the goose. It probably looked pretty comical to anyone watching from the other side of the lake. Knowing I probably wasn’t going to outrun it, in desperation I pulled my backpack off my shoulders and swung it in the direction of the goose. It did exactly what it did to Faye. It stopped running and started walking away. We took the opportunity to start running again, away from the goose and into the tiger section. I’ve never experienced anything like that before, and I’m glad that I lived to tell the tale! I was pretty shaken up and upset at the time, but afterwards we managed to see some tigers, meerkats and tapirs which made me feel a little better. I don’t know what the fuck was wrong with that goose; we literally did nothing to antagonise it! I reckon it was just homophobic and could sniff out the gays.
After we narrowly escaped with our lives at the wildlife park, we went on to go play some crazy golf which I’ve not done in years. I only lost by three points, so when you read this, Faye, I want a rematch! After the golf we’d done all we wanted to do and it was home time. Pretty sure I fell asleep quite quickly that last night – I was exhausted from running for my life!
So that was my eventful trip away to Boston and Skegness. I guess this was a bit of a random post but I hope you still found it entertaining. Ever been chased by a crazy goose before? Got a bird phobia too? Please let me know so I know that I’m not alone in this.
Thanks for reading!